The Long and Short of It

You may have noticed that I haven’t been blogging for a few days. Ever since my interview with Akamaru and Fluff Supkis, my blackberry has been exploding, and I have had to turn off the phone. Then a very good biped friend sent me some fascinating material about 4703, The Year of the Dog.

“People born in the Year of the Dog possess the best traits of human nature. They have a deep sense of loyalty, are honest, and inspire other people’s confidence because they know how to keep secrets. But Dog People are somewhat selfish, terribly stubborn, and eccentric. They care little for wealth, yet somehow always seem to have money. They can be cold emotionally and sometimes distant at parties. They can find fault with many things and are noted for their sharp tongues. Dog people make good leaders. They are compatible with those born in the Years of the Horse, Tiger, and Rabbit.”

I will analyze this for you, since most of my readers are humans or a reasonable facsimile. I think it should say, “People born in the year of the dog possess dog traits which are the best traits you can get. They know everything because the bipeds babble on and on in front of them while they are trying to take a nap or think. Dog People are conservatives, so they do not like to share. They will not go outside if it is raining or there is a tornado coming or the mongoloid idiot in back is shooting off firecrackers, and they are sorry about your rug, but that’s just the way it is. They always find someone to buy the best quality dog food and treats even though the other person has to eat noodle ramen for a month. They are natural critics and they have excellent taste. They say what is on their minds. Dog People should be running everything, but they cannot find employees who will work for nothing and love it. They do not like cats.”

We are having a tech problem on this end, because management is in a dither over the government, and she has been hogging the computer. Pretty soon I am going to buy a Mac notebook, and she can just burn up her Windoze system all by herself. We’re already one month into first quarter, and I need to rebalance my portfolio.