Tuesday, April 20, 2010

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Saturday, December 09, 2006

I am moving in with Elaine

I am sick and tired of the wide open spaces of Blogger. Anyone can get in. And besides they never named me blogger of the week or anything. Where are their marketing people, anyway? I would fire them. They have a gold mine under their nose, and they do not even say, "Thank you, Arthur, for sharing." Nothing.

Isn't that what the liberal "commons" is all about? Sharing? Blogger is liberal. I am conservative. Elaine is liberal, but she understands high finance. I am a hot property. She is going to let management in, too, but it is because of my coattails. She could not get in on her own. Like I said. Elaine is a ;iberal. She feels sorry for losers.

Well, I am not a loser, so I am outahere, dumb Blogger. I still have to be nice to management, though, because she could put me in the slammer like Barney's father sends terrorists to Gitmo. Then I could not blog or eat takeout.

Go here from now on.
Your friend,

Thursday, December 07, 2006

This is me

My blog is a wreck. NONE of my friends will know where I have gone. My assistant wants to blame Blogger. that is how liberals operate. They do not take responsibility. They blame society or google. Well, I am here on my very own blog to tell you that SHE screwed up. It is not society. It is not blogger. She was tired from liberal screeching about injustice, and she pushed the wrong button. I know she will buy me an expensive present for Christmas or else I would move in with Barney. I think he is in Paraguay right now. He has to get back for his party. I am invited as I reported before on this blog. I will not do a hot link, because I am afraid you-know-who has jinxed this computer on top of everything else. Maybe I can get some advice at Barney's party about servants. I hope I figure out a plan soon, or I will be blogging in smoke signals thanks to pesky labor. I think I will cancel her vacation.

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

You're FIRED

My assistant just messed up my blog.

She switched me to the beta blogger, and now my handsome picture is gone. Also my very interesting profile.

She is too tired to fix it.

Well, too DAMN BAD.

I do not swear, beause this is a family blog, but I am sure everyone will understand. This is horrible. I think she sabotaged me on purpose. She is so jealous of my traffic.

I need to call Tracey. Fast.

Sunday, December 03, 2006

Republican Dogs from Yesteryear

My park was a present from a man who loved dogs.

He did not give it to me exactly, but he gave it to the public. That includes me. But I am pretty much in charge of telling off littering bipeds and squirrels who steal the acorns.

He was a Republican, like me. Everyone who is anyone is a Republican.

Republicans used to give away parks and libraries. Now they move their money to the Bahamas because they do not like to pay taxes. We are gracious and give jobs to the little people. They can buy their own books today, and if they were any good, they would own their own park.

I do not own this park, but maybe I will buy it when I hit #1 on the bestseller list.

Then I will make a list of who can come in. If you are nice to me or bring me treats, it will go a long way. Even if you are a Democrat. I do not discriminate.

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Big fat rip off

I have been shopping for Christmas presents for my friends and even for management. Everything is politics, you know. Keep the boss happy and all that.

As you can see this is a calendar that someone stole an idea for from MY BLOG. I do not know any other dogs that blog. I do not even know any other dogs that can type. All those guys I met in the slammer were pretty slow. So where does this calendar company get off?

“I had my own blog for a while, but I decided to go back to just pointless, incessant barking.”

That is so wrong. I do not like how fancy New Yorkers just take anything they see. “Oh, look. A blog by a Corgi. Isn’t that fun? Let’s make up a cartoon about him. He does not know anyone. He cannot hurt us.”

Memo to New Yorker: I know Barney Bush. And you are in b-i-g trouble. Also we know Elaine in New York and Akamaru. Also Fluff. Sparky, too. They will march right into your office and protest. You will be sorry. Also my lawyer is going to sue you.

Merry Christmas.

Friday, November 24, 2006

So long sushi

Sushi is raw fish. Japan invented it. A spy from Russia ate some, and he died. That is because another spy put poison in it. He was in London.

I think you should stick to the basics like cheese fries and KFC. They do not put polonium 210 in Kentucky Fried. They would glow in the dark if they did. Besides, this is America. We go bowling and balance our portfolios. If we do not like someone, we cut them out of our will or sue them for $10 million. I am glad we won the cold war. Russians talk funny, anyway.

We are scamming free wifi in the car and eating treats. We do not know any spies.

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