The Long and Short of It

Experts say not to get a dog until the biped offspring are in school. Like this is big news. Once again people could save a lot of time and money if they would just listen to me instead of hiring experts and PhD’s and consultants. Biped offspring require too much attention. It isn’t fair to the dog. You do not need a PhD to figure that out.

I was a puppy once. I had to sleep in a cage – management called it the slammer – in the basement all by myself until I was “trained”. Can you imagine what they would do if a biped baby had to sleep in the basement with the light out? Management loved me more than anyone else. That is why I chose her to wait on me and take me for walks. I used to pout when she would go away and would not eat my food, even when a cat walked too close to my dish.

We got to know some school age bipeds in our old neighborhood. They played stick, Frisbee and ball with me. We had a lot of fun. Then they got evicted from their house. Management tried to stop it. JJ came back and brought her flowers from an abandoned lot, so she would not forget him, he said. They moved away. I missed them.