The Long and Short of It

Things have been tense around here lately. The biped boss** is frantic over too much work. I say, “Let the servants do everything,” but she insists on doing everything herself. Not that she couldn’t stand to lose a few pounds, but you did not hear that from me, either. Well, OK, as long as there is food in my dish at the appointed hour and fresh water in my two bowls. I have one in the kitchen and the bathroom, which is by management’s bedroom where I stand guard at night. Actually, I used to stand guard. Now I sleep and do not hear the raccoon on the roof. Some people think that I am hard of hearing. That is not true. Unless it is something I want to hear, I see no reason to follow biped orders or respond to silly ideas. “Want to go outside?” when it is raining. Get real.

**(I am the imperial Corgi, master of everything, unless you-know-who has a bee in her bonnet. Then I do the subordinate pooch number. Ridiculous.)