The Long and Short of It

While I am waiting for Tracey Rosengrave to cut my advance, I thought I would get rich another way, at least to tide me over. We investors know all about Modern Portfolio Theory - or MPT as busy people and dogs who do not have enough time to say or write all the words call it.

In MPT there is something called a Random Walk. It means that a stock price does not follow a path, even though you want it to. It does what it wants, and no one can tell what it will do in the future. The only way to know what price a stock price is going to be in the future is to cheat. I tried cheating, but I am a dog, so they caught on right away. Also, I do not know any insiders.

This means you should buy and hold a stock, because you cannot beat the market, because the market will beat you up and then you cannot write a book or blog or anything else. I do not have enough time to hold a stock. I want to get rich quick. I am, after all, a Welsh American. This is what we do in America - get rich quick.

I tried to take a random walk this morning. It is trash day where I live. You-know-who is always busy, so I thought I would just take a stroll.

The Federal Express man turned me in. He never heard of the random walk. Management was gushing all over him. Maybe she wants to marry him. I hope not. I wish she would marry a hot dog salesman or a sheep farmer. She bought Lucent Technologies. This is why we need to find her a husband.