The Long and Short of It

For a celebrity I am a pretty mellow guy.

Just recently I allowed Clarence the cat to rub under my chin, even though I do not like him as a rule. He was quite helpful in the chicken caper, I admit, and being a little slow, he hardly got any for himself, but that's his tough luck. We ruling class elites just use the labor when we need it and then drop you like a hot potato when we do not need you any more. It is that simple.

"Winner take all," is what I always say. I am a conservative, after all.

Which brings me to my topic du jour, squatters and opportunists sneaking under the fence at night to eat and sleep in our deck chairs. What's more, they demand first quality service and food. The boss finally got some sense and bought store brand crunchies on sale. If you are on welfare you do not get to be choosy. And do you know what? They act like they are mad or something.

They can just go ahead and have a protest march up and down our street. Carry signs. Meow slogans at the top of their lungs. We are moving soon anyway.

I am documenting this for a PBS special. We have a new cell phone with a camera. 'Think I am kidding?

Stay tuned.